Guest Blog: Beyond Recovery - Finding Freedom Inside

Are You A Prisoner of Your Own Mind?
When I first started working in prison running groups, I would ask the men what their challenges were. There were many, finding housing, finding jobs, staying on the right path, reconnecting with their children, finding peace of mind. It didn’t matter how many people I asked, there would always be one challenge common to all: finding peace of mind. It’s what we all want isn’t it? No matter how we try to get it, through providing for our families, or being the best at what we do. No matter what life has thrown at us, no matter what we’ve done, no matter what labels we wear, it seems to me that we all want peace, happiness and security. We just try to get those things in different ways.
Sometimes, the harder we try, the further away the goal gets. Why is that?
“I feel freer now than I’ve ever felt in my life, and I’ve still got three years to serve”. DS said. We were sitting in a circle on the hard-backed black chairs, in the group room on K Wing at HMP Onley. A big picture of a map of the world on one wall. The warm summer sunshine slid through the razor wire into the room. I could hear pigeons cooing on their makeshift nest on the windowsill. DS sat at the back of the room rocking on his chair. Long legs in Armani jeans, stretched out in front of him, big hands holding onto the chair legs as he made his statement. “Tell us more,'' I said.
DS told us how he had lived a life tormented by his own negative thoughts, by trauma and by PTSD. He had caused a lot of pain and a lot of damage to others. He believed himself to have no empathy, he’d believed the labels he had worn inwardly and outwardly (he did like a good Armani outfit!) Then one day he’d had a new thought, something that hadn’t occurred to him before.
We are not aware of it but we often get new thought. Fresh thought out of nowhere that we haven’t heard before. But we also tend to ignore it. Everyone can see something new about their situation at any moment. Because situations are not fixed. They can be viewed differently depending on the perspective we have.
Have you ever thought about something one way and then had a change of mind when you got a new perspective?
“I realised I had a choice,” DS said. In a single moment DS realised that he had a choice and he saw this from within his own mind. You see we are all walking around thinking that we are living in and coping with a reality that is ‘out there’. When in fact in each moment we are creating a reality from within our own minds.
Now I don’t mean that the thing you are looking at right now doesn’t exist. What I mean is, HOW we see the world is being created in our own minds from moment to moment, and THAT is the thing that can change. Thought is a power that we all have. A Superpower. One that can make us feel all the emotions and feelings that it’s possible for a human being to have. But we don’t realise that we have this Superpower, so we let it have its wicked way with us.
For example, if you feel lonely it’s because you are having a lonely thought, at that moment. Think about when you’ve felt lonely and then something on the TV made you laugh. You may have forgotten the lonely feeling for a minute, and you may have gone straight back to it after the laugh. BUT the point is that moment by moment we are only ever experiencing our own minds!
So, what’s all this got to do with freedom even when you’re in prison?
Here’s a snippet from a blog that one of the Beyond Recovery facilitators, Paul Lock, wrote after his first group:
“Walking into a prison environment, having never been before, is eye opening in many ways. But more than anything, I have found it to be a humbling and profound experience. Big men with even bigger hearts. I have come to realise that whether we are free or incarcerated behind fences with razor wire, walls with iron gates. We are all up against the same thing - the confines and trickery of our minds!
During the same week as this prison session, I had been working with a senior executive. He is extremely successful, respected and has gained seniority in a corporate environment. Along with this, he has a beautiful home in a beautiful area, a great social life and a wonderful wife, soon to be starting a family. He couldn't fathom why, with all his success and achievements, he didn't feel great - why he didn't get out of bed in the morning with a smile on his face! Life just wasn't feeling right; he was beginning to question his career choice, relationship and purpose in life.
Within days of this encounter I am sitting in a prison working with a group of men who are on a drug and alcohol rehabilitation programme. What struck me was the similarity between the executive and the inmates. What I found fascinating was how they shared a common dissatisfaction and confusion about life and themselves.
So, does our circumstance and environment have anything to do with our happiness? Move forward a few weeks and after spending time with both the executive and the group of men, they have changed profoundly. They are happy, light-hearted and engaged. Yet the only thing that has changed is their appreciation of their mind and an understanding of how it works, with absolutely no change in any circumstance.
It is clear that the circumstance and environment we find ourselves in has simply nothing to do with how happy we are. Our happiness is determined by how we view and understand ourselves moment by moment. As our thoughts change so do our feelings, and as our feelings change so do our circumstances. It is this simplicity that is all too easy to overlook.”
Jacqueline
Hollows FRSA, is the founder of Beyond Recovery. Empowering people with lived
experience of prison to find their true potential. For more information contact info@beyond-recovery.co.uk.
*This piece was first published in Insidetime June 2020









